i

am

truly

falling

for you.

Life is meant for living.
If you ain't living, then you're failing at it.

sometimes i just want to crawl into a hole and be alone.

Friends of Distinction

Ain't it a great day?
Could it be better?

Your eyes are amazing...so amazing...

it's for real.

mathematics

x + y = not an equation

-x likes to keep things level
-y is always going up and down
-either x or y would have to have a worth of zero in order to keep things from peaking too much or crashing downhill
-y'see, the variables are just too strong to compromise with each other

x + z = undefined

x + n = seemingly impossible, but possible?

-n is the variable everywhere and anywhere...everyone wants "n" in their equation
-x can substitute y for n...and n maybe as equal or maybe even better to use than y.

roots

Having a knack for indie music is starting to be what a "good" Vancouverite should do. It makes sense given that Vancouver has an excellent scene. Everyone is very up-to-date with the latest bands and culture and trends that follow along with the genre.

I'm guilty of not having a knack for indie. I am trying to get myself in-tune with it, and it's working out well, but my ears and my spirit is too in-synch with soul to fully appreciate indie. That's just how it's always been for me. My parents scarcely listened to rock artists such as Led Zeppelin, Neil Young, or the Beatles...artists that are considered influences of influences of influences of indie. Disco, soul, R&B, jazz fusion, and dance music did it for my parents...therefore it does it for me.

Put me up on a stage with my guitar and people probably think "Oh, another whiney chick with a guitar." This is why I say to my listeners "So who here really likes Tegan & Sara? Well, I sound NOTHING like that." And it's true. I don't. I don't ever plan to. That's not where I'm at. I also say to my listeners that we musn't forget legends like Marvin Gaye, Al Green, Diana Ross, Smokey Robinson...for their sound has a lot of influence on music today. While trying to keep-up with what's hot and new, it's also important to backtrack to our roots. When we absorb those raw musical elements in oldies, it becomes easy to pick-out forms of those elements in newbies.

Anyways, another useless blog to kill time.

Putting this song away...

You walked away
(but my body can do what my eyes can do.)
You walked away
(baby I was so good to you.)

We could've been so lovely
but I need more than your pretty face
with troubles behind your eyes.

And when I look at you now,
How could I have loved you?
'Cause you're a clever fool dressed in a clever disguise.

You can't see it through your blackened sight.
It was either you
or my dignity compromised.

And I refuse to play along.
I'm not to blame for all going wrong
'Cause when I was with you I felt so alone.

You walked away
(but my body can do what my eyes can do.)
You walked away
(baby I was so good to you.)

I wanted to ease the pain,
but given the things you say,
there's no excuse for treating me that way.

You're more than a blur in the background
But you've made enough of you to go around
And I won't let your verdicts bring me down.

I could never be so cold 'cause I've got a soul of gold
and I know that you've been told...
but my healing heart's got to put you on hold...

"More than words is all you have to do to make it real."
You were only words, how was I supposed to feel?
"More than words is all you have to do to make it real."
You were only words, how was I supposed to feel?

You walked away
(but my body can do what my eyes can do.)
You walked away
(baby I was so good to you.)

You walked away
(but my body can do what my eyes can do.)
You walked away
(baby I was so good to you.)

When I'm with you, I feel so alone...

http://saguitargirl.livejournal.com/2004/02/24/

Dear girl,

That broke my heart. Almost 4 years later...I can still feel a little bit of the pain.

you're NO GOOD.

To share a meal

Lately, I have found myself sharing late night meals with strangers, acquaintances, and friends kept at arm's length. As awkward as those situations may sound, I have been enjoying every minute of it. I look forward to trying it again. It is something that everyone should try because of the intimacy that it brings, the simplicity, and the peace.

There is intimacy in sharing a meal. There is a connection made between members gathered at the table because they have consumed the same food. There is communication when everyone passes the food around and makes comments. There is interest created when gasps of surprise or sighs of delight show each person a glimpse of each other's personality, or a vulnerability that they rarely reveal. Awkward silence does arise because, after all, everyone hardly knows each other. However, there is communion in silent thought: thoughts about the food, the ambience of the backdrop, and the funny situation of dining with strangers.

Sharing a meal is so simple - 2 or more people gather, sit down (or stand?), eat, and converse (or not converse at all?). When it comes to meeting people, sure, you could try a club or pub or bar, or a party, or a gallery opening, or a physical activity. However, when it comes to meeting people in those sort of situations, is it really fulfilling? Half of the time it is difficult to understand each other at a club or pub or bar or a party over loud music and beer breath. A gallery opening does not have mingling as the main purpose. The main purpose is to enjoy the art, therefore people are distracted. During a physical activity, again, the main purpose is to not mingle, but to be one with the activity and in some situations, to make use of the money you spent on the activity. When sharing a meal, in most cases it is affordable. It is easier to understand each other in a meal-setting. The main purpose may be to eat, but majority of people would agree that eating by yourself when surrounded by people is boring and awkward, so the second-but-close purpose is to interact with each other. Everyone shares the "activity" of eating, so there is a common interest already there. In the situations of a club, a gallery, or a physical activity, not everyone shares the same interests so some may never go to a club, visit a gallery, or do a physical activity.

Sharing a meal brings peace. Imagine this - 3 groups of strangers gathered at one table. 3 groups that just met each other that night. No one really knows each other and everyone probably has their differences. Conflict could arise if rubbed the wrong way. However, everyone at the table has and understanding to put it all aside for the night because there is a delicious meal that, in the moment, is more important.

What if random strangers just started sharing meals together? What enrichment and diversity that would bring. It is true that everyone is different when it comes to beliefs, lifestyles, and opinions but one thing's for sure: everyone likes to eat.

Messages, I'm tempted - but I got to give it up.

Sometimes I think that I'd "have less heartache" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be cool" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "live a little" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "get it now" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "have many" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "win her heart" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "not lose her" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "never be alone" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "have my fun" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be different" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be more daring" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be a man" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be smarter" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "grow up" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be real" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be like her" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "get in her" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "conquer it" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be strong" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

Sometimes I think that I'd "be happier" if I hadn't set these standards and these boundaries and these ideals.

But really, I know I wouldn't.
I couldn't. I shouldn't.

And I'm not sorry.

inventory

last: 3 weeks, 3 songs

2nd last: 50 weeks, 2 songs

first: 60 weeks, 2 songs

junior hearts: 4 years, 7 songs

origins...and your second song.

I knew the first day that I met you,
I would never forget you,
and sooner'later here I've fallen
head-over-heels...

But really, I wear sneakers.
Push the knife a little deeper
and maybe baby my veins will spray
how much I feel this way.

I heard you're hopelessly romantic
(and you've fallen for my tactics)
and sooner'later here you've fallen head-over-heels...

But really you wear sneakers,
(oh I think this one's a keeper)
and maybe baby brush my bangs
to see where my old soul hangs...

I'm not supposed to feel this way about a girl.
What would my mother say?
If she knew I wanted to kiss you
under the same milky way
that she's gazing with a cup of tea
(I hope you never let go of me).
It's feeling too good to be with you,
there's really nothing I can do...

Moving to blogspot from livejournal. Thanks again, Dorothy.

http://motown-vibe.livejournal.com/