not too long ago

1. "I think I'd be good for you, and you'd be good for me." Weezer, El Scorcho

I've met my match because you're so hard to win-over. Previous catches have been such a breeze. Speaking 100 words or less while giving a sly smile usually resulted in a girl fainting in my arms, wanting me to rescue them with a single kiss. Then again, they were sloppy catches. But you...you make me want to try...to try to work...to work to earn...to earn your hand. And I'm realizing that if I want to earn your hand, I've got to step-up my game. Where is my "it's not being lazy, it's being free" attitude going? In the 6 weeks I've known you, what have you done to me? Suddenly I'm challenging my intellect. Suddenly I'm trying to not be selfish. Suddenly I'm having self-control. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to throw-in the towel and flail a sweaty arm around something cheaper, but I know that I need the challenge that is you. In seeing how amazing you are, I'm starting to realize that I can be amazing as well. Let's call it a draw, and just kiss me.

2. Where do we stand? Well, we don't stand. We're merely walking and talking and waiting for the other to make a move and calling it "just friends". And there's this small fence built between us. I'm not bowing down and hopping over to your side, and I know you'd never dream of walking on my side. This fence is silly. It's made of cheap material and made half-heartedly. If you're game, let's kick it down. If it's meant to be, we'll make it work. The problem is that we both know we'd make awesome partners in crime but aren't willing to admit that we'd like to start something. Well, that's what I hope is true.

3. I want you. Badly. (I really should be keeping this to myself). My gaze is so transfixed upon you that everything around is a blur. It's a feeling I never imagined could happen to me ("Oh, that's only in the movies") and a feeling that I've tried to block for straightshooter's sake ("Don't be a wuss"). I've come to realize that this infatuation could be mistooken for weakness...but really, it takes courage, wisdom, and freedom to be open to love. Being able to face love is the only way I'll experience real love. Trying to block emotions so as to look "strong" is showing weakness...that I am not willing to take-up the challenge of love.

4. You have caused the recent papermill of scribbled & tossed lyrics. The inspiration that left me a year ago has come back. You can never understand how much that means to me...the inspiration my frustrated fingers have ached for. Non-stop on every writable surface is you. Like I said, you are amazing. I hope you know that. And it takes a lot for me to be amazed.


i miss the heat.
i miss the frustration.
i miss the heartache.
i miss the awaiting passion.
i miss your inspiration.
i miss the way you made me feel.